I have become more sensitive lately.
I’ve noticed it since my Dad passed away, since I’ve been getting closer to the big 5-0 and since I’ve been going for Reiki treatments and reading more about asking the Universe for what I want in my life.
The sensitivity I feel is a little bit like a roller coaster ride. I have days where I’m flying high and everything in my world is perfect and other days where I swear there is a black hole under my feet and it’s just a matter of time before it sucks me up.
Do I like myself? YES! Would I say I am my own best friend? Hell YA!
So why all this turmoil? What can I possibly do to stay on the higher end of life?
I contemplated this . . .
I thought about all of the books I have read over the years. Authors who say, be careful what you think about, thoughts become things. Remember to stay positive and only good will come your way. Work hard to stay in a place of positivity even when circumstances around you are negative. Never let other people’s emotions affect you. Oh and lastly, if you really focus on something you want, eventually it will come to you.
I have decided to call BS on all of this crap! Yup, you heard me. I think this is a fear based ideology. You know what has happened to me as a result of thinking this way? I have beaten myself up for the times I’ve been negative. I feel sick to my stomach when I’m trying to have a good time when other areas of my life are stressful. There is no way in hell I will ever be able to let someone else’s emotions not affect me! That just makes me an insensitive ass! Plus, why should I waste time “thinking” about things I want? Isn’t it more productive to work towards them instead?
So, maybe you are disagreeing with me right now. You might be saying, “Jeez Monica, you’re looking at all this the wrong way!”
Okay, so give me a chance, I have a new spin and here it goes . . .
My last couple of months have been stressful. I have goals to reach at work, just like everyone else does, we are building a new kitchen at the cottage and our house is a disaster because we are rarely home. My Mom is thinking about moving from the house we grew up in and all kinds of other little things that when piled into one giant heap, are overwhelming! But that’s LIFE!!!
So, a month ago I took 2 hours to myself. I wrote down a list of all of my priorities in life. Those priorities included, financial goals, fundraising goals, relationship goals and I also wrote down my WHY! I wrote down why these goals were important to me and what my best life looked like. I also wrote down what I am grateful for right now, and how fortunate I am to have shaped the life that I do have.
Every morning and every night I read my list. I read it, I feel it, and then I let it go. I hand it over to the Universe. It feels different than what I used to do. My old way of thinking always led me to believe I had to control the HOW’s, but that’s just not true, the Universe always works them out.
I also find myself being a lot more relentless since I’ve committed to reading my list and made it a habit. I keep moving, even when I feel knocked over, I approach all areas of my life with a new found passion. If I feel negative or upset, I accept it, it’s called being human. I’m not going to suppress my feelings for the risk that maybe I might attract something negative! No way!!! All of it is important and valuable, every emotion and every feeling!
I have made a decision to honour my imperfect self and create a life that is honest.
I’m banking a lot of good stuff with my friend the Universe when I read that list. When I’m off my game the Universe does take care of me, I’m not being punished for having a bad day, week or month. I receive rewards and they show up like miracles..
When I hear someone say, “It’s all good.” I think this might be what they’re talking about.