When my Dad came to Canada from Germany he made us a home. He hadn’t met Mom yet and my brother and I were just a twinkle in his eye but he already started preparing for the future. That was my Dad.
He found a farm house up north and made his first investment at 23 years of age.
Today, almost 60 years later I am sitting on the porch of this magical house and feeling so grateful to my Dad for securing a beautiful future for all of us that he left here on planet earth.
I walk to the lake and around the property and tears fill my eyes as I want him back here so badly. I can see him drinking a beer on the back porch, turning steaks over on the barbecue and working on his beloved house with sweat dripping from his brow and a big smile on his face.
Why did this bliss have to end so soon? Why is it always too early to lose a parent?
A father/daughter relationship is an intense one. We learn so much from each other and some of those lessons can be painful. Sometimes I feel a pang of guilt because I remember the times my Dad’s viewpoint would drive me so crazy I didn’t want to be around him. I felt defeated in many of our disagreements. I put him on such a high pedestal that even when I knew I was in the right I felt compelled to do what my Daddy said.
Something changed for me in my mid 30’s. I started to see my Dad as a human being. I realized he was doing the best he could with what he had learned in his own life. Just because we did not always see things eye to eye did not mean that we did not have a love, adoration and respect for each other that could never be replicated.
When my Dad became ill we talked a lot about life and death. I reassured him that this life we have now is just a blip, the experiences we are having are lessons. These lessons will make our higher selves even more powerful. Just because the physical body dies it does not mean that the energy inside also dies.
I promised my Dad I would stay open and communicate after his death and I’m am so grateful now for all the dreams, the signs and the small miracles I have witnessed since he crossed over to the other side.
Sometimes little flares and light formations appear in pictures and I know my Dad is letting me know he’s with me forever.
If you missed your Dad this past weekend I feel your pain, we are in this together and it’s okay to cry no matter how many years it’s been. The light will continue to shine on us and the signs are always there, sometimes you just have to open your eyes and your heart.
Monica XO
I loved this. I can totally relate to everything you wrote. My dad came from Germany too and met my mom here. My dad and I were just different and he drove me crazy sometimes and I know I drove him crazy. When I became an adult I realized how much he did to give us all that he didn’t have growing up. I miss him every day but Father’s day is always extra tough because it was actually Father’s day that he passed away but I’m also thankful that I had him as my dad for so many years and have such great memories that will be with me forever.
Tania, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story about your Dad. I am so happy that you are cherishing all of your memories. We can always play them over in our head at any time and that is a gift. <3
Oh Monica dear! Your blog about your precious Dad brought tears to my eyes thinking of him, and his little chuckle – what fun we all had together over the years! He was such a strong and supportive man for his family & friends.
My precious Dad died in 1989, and sometimes I can still hear things he’s said to me, and have comfort from his kind & supportive words even now. (Love is certainly eternal.)
Let us rejoice that we have been so lucky to have precious Dads – who taught us to be strong and encouraged us (for me, not early in life, likely due to his WWII experiences) but as an adult 150%!) Thanks for sharing Moni dear. We are blessed.
Hugs, Barbara
Barbara this is so beautiful and I always love hearing stories about your dear Dad. He was quite a guy xo
I couldn’t have described my loss and relationship with my Dad any better – we were the best of friends and he was my beach buddy. I miss him terribly – thank you for sharing xx
Lynn
Thank you so much for your comment. I miss my Wing Man so much too.
How lucky we were xo
Thank you Monica, for speaking so eloquently of your Dad. This was my first Father’s Day without my own Dad, and it was a very sad day for me. Like you, I am always on the lookout for signs that he is with us, and love when he lets us know he is keeping an eye on things. Not a day goes by that we don’t miss him, but believing he is with us in spirit helps to keep his memory alive.
Kerry
Thank you so much for this comment.
Your Dad will never leave your side. Not a second goes by that I forget my Dad is right there. Your Dad is now a part of you. I love that you shared this ❤
Beautifully written Monica! Thanks for sharing these memories and the knowledge you’ve gained. This first Father’s Day without my dad was rough and I spent too much time regretting what he’s missing instead of remembering all we shared. Thanks for making me think a little differently and appreciating my memories even more.
Chantal
Your comment means so much. Your Dad is always with you and your whole family. He’ll never leave his tribe ❤
Moni
I’m grateful I knew your daddy and I cherish all our chats on the drive to Toronto. We are blessed that we had amazing fathers that showed us patience, guidance, unconditional love and gave us a beautiful life.
Hugs
Donna
Donna! We are very lucky girls! Your dear Dad also meant the world to me. Thank you so much for your comment xo