I love spending time with my Mom. I love taking her on the road with me, traveling together, cottage weekends, shopping together, working together and enjoying meals with a nice glass of wine together.
Was it always this way? Ummmm no!
Many of my friends have shared with me that they love the posts of my Mom. They can either relate to our closeness or they say, jeez I wish I had a close relationship with my Mom.
The strong relationship I have with my Mom today really stems from a history of trial and error with both of my parents in the “communication” department.
One of my biggest life lessons was in my early 30’s when I mustered up the courage to confront my Dad about my feelings towards him. I remember sitting with him at my parents’ dining room table and it all came spewing out : “Dad, I feel like you are not proud of me, I feel like whenever I share my ideas with you, you always criticize me, why do you have to judge me all the time? Why can’t you just accept me for who I am?” There was a lot more to it than that, you know, tears, trying to find the right words etc . . . You know what my Dad’s response was? His famous big smile, his hand on mine and this: “I love you, Moni.”
Yup, that was it! He never changed, he never justified or defended himself, he was just being my Dad in the best way he knew how.
I learned from that experience that human beings are a little crazy when it comes to expectations of our loved ones. We define what it means to be a Mom, a Dad, a daughter, a son, a brother, a sister and then we attach all of these definitions of what that “should or shouldn’t” (yuck, guilt words) look like. We have a tendency to put people up on pedestals and make life miserable for ourselves
The relationship with my Mom works so beautifully because there is no guilt. My Mom doesn’t expect me to be a certain way because I am her daughter and I don’t expect her to be a certain way because she is my Mom. We have a mutual admiration and respect for each other and we practice forgiveness not only for each other but also for ourselves and others.
Friendships work because we can relax and be ourselves. Our friends accept us for who we are. They chose us and we chose them.
After years of working through my teenage angst, early 20’s rebellion and all kinds of other crazy stuff I tormented my Mom and Dad with, my Mom and I choose to see the best in each other and when we spend time together we treasure every moment.
No one came into this world with a manual, not even our parents. Let’s all just do the best we can in this life together.
A new perspective is so good for the soul!
Monica XO
Be sure to tell the boss you have to leave early on Tuesday and join us from noon until 8pm for our annual Mother’s Day Open House!!! Click HERE for all the details XO
Love this post. You and your Mom definitely have a very admirable bond and it shines through every time I see a pic of you both! xo
Oh, honey, such a wonderful blog. It really tugs at my heartstrings!
You are such a wise soul,
Monica. As a daughter and a mother, I appreciate and empathize with your perspective and insights on so many levels. The unconditional love of our parents takes time and effort to recognize and accept…but it is so empowering once we see it and embrace it. You clearly have done exactly that. Happy Mother’s Day to your lovely Mom❤️
I absolutely love this blog Monica! Thank you for sharing it.