First of all! Happy Victoria Day everyone!
This warm weather has got me thinking about everything there is to look forward to! Swimming, bonfires, long walks, big bike rides and eating outside!
There’s only one problem with all of this.
I’ve been aching. My joints hurt, I get out of breath so fast and I have a belly that I’ve never had before.
I’ve got one word for you – MENOPAUSE !
Somehow I thought I could bypass it, like it wouldn’t happen to me.
These last few weeks I have felt like losing five or ten pounds is just too much of a giant undertaking. It seems almost impossible.
Also, the smallest things make me cry, I get overwhelmed so easily and when I think about stuff too much my heart races and I can’t sleep.
As Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, “You sound like a real attractive guy!” I don’t know why I just thought of that but come on, it’s hysterical.
Am I giving up on myself? Have I resigned myself to the fact that things are just not easy for me, like they used to be?
After much thought and deliberation I realized that I needed to get real with myself. I needed to look at certain aspects of my life and figure out why I was self-sabotaging.
1) It’s not all my fault, there are some pretty big hormone changes happening in this body and as long as I don’t inflict any harm on people I love, then I’m doing pretty good.
2) Why am I being so unforgiving with myself? Why am I always expecting so much from myself? Do I really need to “perform” every single day?
3) Why haven’t I scheduled in sacred “rest” time, where I do something nice for me?
4) Why do I eat and drink things on a regular basis that give me a hit of gratification and then make me feel like shit afterwards?
5) Why do I feel like I don’t deserve the “me” time? Why do I place other people’s needs before my own?
Okay, that is a lot to unpack in one blog and sure, there might be some co-dependency issues here. I can’t help it, I love to be needed – BUT I’ve realized something. The person who needs me the most is me!
I’ve been ignoring her, she’s yelling and screaming at me with all of these pains and I’m not listening!
Last weekend I had reached a breaking point. I felt like I was spiraling. I could already see a summer of drinks and chips repeating itself. As I get older this only results in fogginess throughout the week and of course more weight gain, bloating and digestive issues.
Exactly one week ago I sat down and had a little chat with myself. I asked myself some hard questions and also recognized that I work on all of the above five points constantly and, they keep re-surfacing. Yup, it’s been groundhog day for a very long time!
When I honestly asked myself what was my “why” for taking control, the first inner voice to speak up was the twenty year old. “I want to look hot in a bikini by July.”
Then my fifty year old self asked her, “And then what? We go back to the same old roller coaster ride?”
Oh boy, now I had to get really serious.
Time to re-write my “why”.
Here it goes –
I am over half way through my life, I want to feel fabulous for the rest of it. Feeling good is most important. I want to go to the doctor for check-ups and have her say, “Wow, once again, you are in perfect health!” I want to get out of bed and feel refreshed from the best sleep. I want to walk up hills without getting out of breath, I want to go to Europe and do a bike tour though Spain and take in the breathtaking view of the majestic sunflowers, I want to take care of the “adult” things in my life and feel proud of my responsibilities and how I manage them. I want to take good care of myself and be my best self for the people I love.
Oooh, now that feels good, this is something I can commit to.
If you’re struggling to get that inner flame burning again, let me know. I’d be happy to share with you how I’m changing the way I eat, drink and work out to stay on this road for good.
Jeez, does it ever feel good to be here!
Keep going, this is progress!
PS – Don’t you just love how the Universe delivers exactly what you need to hear when you’re ready to receive? Please join me tomorrow on Get To Know Her when I chat with Elizabeth Tripp, she is a woman who helps ambitious people to love their body and their life! Once you read her bio you’ll know you’ve landed on something magical and healing!