The other week I went over to my Mom’s for a heart to heart and a good cry. Why? Well, sometimes when life feels overwhelming I need a shoulder and a hug. My Mom and my husband both have big shoulders and amazing hugs. So I kind of take turns with them! Ha ha!
Honestly, I just needed to let it all out to someone I can trust, who is a good listener. Don’t we all?
The week that I went to visit my Mom I had about 4 things that I wanted to talk to her about that “worried” me. She listened, she hugged me, I got her shoulder wet and all that good stuff. Once I was done my Mom kicked in with her words of wisdom, as she always does.
“Honey, the worrying has got to stop. This is a family pattern and that’s why it hurts you so deeply. Your father did it and your Oma did it too. You are just like your Dad was, all smiles on the outside but inside the worrying is eating you up. You are well into your 40’s now and it is time to take responsibility and break the pattern.”
Mom’s words really hit home. She had me figured out, she nailed it. My only question now was, how the heck do I break this pattern?
Later that evening my husband joined my Mom and I and we were all reminiscing, looking at old photos and a few heirlooms. Mom pulled out a ring, “Look Moni, do you recognize this?” Oh my goodness, it was my Oma’s ring. I could imagine it so tightly on her chubby hard working finger. I had not seen that ring since I was really little, or maybe even just in pictures.
All of a sudden the answer to my “worrying” problem came to me. It seemed to come directly from my Oma. I needed to wear this ring as a reminder to stop the pattern, to let things go and to enjoy life as it was happening rather than worrying about what might go wrong.
This, my friends, is what we call a touchstone. I have several around me, thanks to my husband. He gave me a beautiful crystal award for my desk when I turned 40. It says: Monica Graves, glamjulz, Female Entrepreneur of the Decade 2000 – 2010. He loves to buy me every Wonder Woman book, sticker, action figure he can find. Those things have become so important to me. I look at them and they remind me of my strength. They remind me that some days we all feel like throwing in the towel and that’s okay. Like my husband says, “Some days you are allowed to be Diana, you can’t be Wonder Woman every day.”
Fear, anxiety, stress and worry. It’s something we all live with, it’s all part of being human. I remember reading once, the problems we have that hurt us the most are usually inherited. They don’t belong to us and that’s why they can feel like sandpaper rubbing against the grain. I think the point is valid and it’s a good idea for all of us to look deep within and ask ourselves if we are the ones who actually gave birth to our worries or if it came from someone else.
I hope that most days you do feel like Wonder Woman. On the days that you don’t, I want you to remember this blog and know that it’s okay. I also want you to put on your favourite glamjulz and know that I am right here with you! There is enough positive energy in your julz to last a life time. Find comfort in knowing that we are all just trying to figure out life and do our very best.
Some days it’s okay to be Diana.