Still Grieving After All These Years?

What a weekend! 20 degrees in November, are you kidding me?

This beautiful weather has been a gift, another opportunity to gather outside and spend time with the people we love.

Wayne and I headed north on Thursday to close up the family cottage for the season.

We made the decision to come home last night so that I could be well rested and ready for a busy three weeks of jewelry making before Christmas.

The last cottage weekend is always emotionally taxing for me.  It’s a hurricane of ups and downs where I feel so many things all at once.  I’m grateful to be able to go there and submerge myself in nature, I’m grateful for the silence and the solitude when I need it, I’m grateful for the memories and all the happy times I’ve had there, especially as a child.

When we shut down, my mind travels to other places.  As I drain the water, suction out the toilets, bring in the Muskoka chairs, strip all the beds, clean the house and tend to the outdoor work with Wayne, tears stream down my face.  They always do.

When I was a kid it was because I never wanted summer to end but for the past 8 years it’s been because my Dad is gone.  I miss him yelling up at me from the basement, asking me to bring down buckets of water.  I miss the fact that it took him twice as long to close down the cottage than it does for the two of us.  My Dad liked to over-complicate the whole process but every fall I was happy to be there with him for closing weekend and to be a part of it.

My Dad was a character, he was human with his own set of struggles but the kindest, most fair and loving Dad there ever was.

I’m home now and thankful to be out in the sunshine doing my work.

My Dad always believed in hard work and he showed me so much about responsibility and seeing important things through.  I know my motivation to work hard is a gift from him.

If I could have him back for just one day I’d take him on a bike ride in this warm fall weather, enjoy a beer with him on a patio and talk about life.

The wonderful part of this wish is that it’s not regret, I don’t have any regrets with him because we did all those things.

With great love there is always great pain and my annual cottage tears are worth it.

This is a time of year when many of us are grieving people who have passed on.  I want you to know I feel you, whether it’s been one year or 50 years, it’s hard to make sense of life without that special person.

Sending you big virtual hugs and wishing you many more bright days ahead that are filled with sunshine and beautiful memories.

Monica xo

Sharing stories is so powerful, especially when it is to help pave a brighter path for someone in need.  Thank you so much for sharing last week’s blog and helping Tara and Gregor.  If you would like to share their story and haven’t had a chance just copy and paste this link –

Gregor & Tara’s Story . . .



Oh Monica – I am reading this and crying at my desk. I lost my dear dad in April. In many ways my life will never be the same.
But, like you, I am thankful for all of the memories, lessons, traditions and songs that will always be with me.
Hugs right back to you – Llana


Thank you Monica, it certainly is a tough part of life losing a parent. Your story warmed my heart and thank you for that. My momma, now gone 3 years, is still a big part of my everyday life, that’s for sure!


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